I am so freaking tired right now. I had a major deadline to meet this week that caused some serious upheaval in our lives, and I’m deeply regretting committing to hosting a Valentine’s Day event. My kids are super happy that I put this event together and normally I would cheerfully do “stuff” for it, but right now? Right now I’m literally dead on my feet.
I’ve noticed a trend among the homeschool groups in our area, and I’m betting it’s nothing new. It’s probably not even limited to homeschooling – every volunteer activity out there has probably experienced this phenomenon.
Everyone is happy to go to an event. No one wants to set it up or host it.
The problem
Our local groups have some major issues with last minute cancellations and no-shows. It’s gotten to the point that I collect a registration fee for field trips I host just to get people to take it seriously. If you attend, you get the fee back. If you cancel with enough notice, you get the fee back. If you don’t show up and don’t contact me, then I use the fee for a thank-you gift (or an “I’m sorry” gift) for the staff hosting the event.
This is especially important for field trips where businesses or parks allow us to set up a free tour. I’m done apologizing for my group not showing up and being super embarrassed about it – hence the fee.
Stretched thin
Normally I’m happy to set up events and do the extra work. Well, not exactly happy, but willing to do it so that my kids can have the fun of being with their friends. A social thing, really. This time though, I goofed. I didn’t have much choice on over booking myself, and I can’t back out of the Valentine’s thing anyway. So I’m sitting here typing up a post instead of doing the extra work I agreed to do. I’m stalling. Because the thought of getting these craft activities ready for tomorrow is more than my brain can handle at the moment.
Self-care sometimes means saying “no.”
I’m going to have to start stepping it up on self-care and stop volunteering for stuff. To say “no.” To accept that my kids will do less because I can’t volunteer myself right now. I already stepped down as co-leader for the science co-op, which is a good step in the right direction for me. I loved leading it, but it was time to say “I can’t.” To let someone else volunteer to lead – or to let it die because no one else will.
It’s ok. I understand.
The thing is, I get it. Everyone is super busy. Not everyone feels comfortable leading a class or setting up an event. That’s just fine! Still, in a group this big with this many local people, I would have thought more people would be involved. That more people would be available. I guess we’re all busy doing our own thing, and that’s just how it will be.
You know where I would be if I wasn’t working on this craft project? Sleeping. Yup. I would be in bed at 8 p.m. because I’m THAT tired.
This sucks. Happy Valentine’s Day all.
My friend and I have been in the exact position over the past few years. We have a large group, we planned a variety of classes and field trips, and no one but us showed, no one. Over and over. Luckily we have each other to still do activities, but we’ve given up planning anything for others. So sorry you are going through this too. Just want you to know you aren’t alone.
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