This week has been a bummer. Some special needs issues have cropped up, I’ve been politely standing my ground with the IEP team (no, a home inspection is not required or, dare I say, legal?) and my health issues are flaring. I’m not doing great. That’s life.
Instead of sitting here and crying – because honestly, I’m on the verge because my hip won’t stop hurting – I’m going for a laugh instead. And I’m dragging you along with me, because everyone needs a good laugh, right? Random bits of funny from my family to yours, because everyone has a bad day sometimes.
Things I’ve actually said to my kids:
“No, we don’t EAT things you find in your car seat!”
“Don’t swing from the light.”
“Don’t hit the light bulbs with a stick!”
” We don’t finger paint with poop.” (said this morning, as I cleaned the carpet in the Destroyer’s room.)
“Don’t pick things up off the floor in the grocery store and eat them.”
“We don’t discuss your penis in public.”
“We don’t lick the glass jewelry case at the store.”
“Get your mouth off the shopping cart!”
Things my kids have said to us:
“Mommy, why is your tummy so squishy?”
“I’m a little human. You’re a big human.”
“Daddy, you make a nice pillow.”
“Mom, why is my RC car smoking?”
“But space, mom, what about space?” (when we discussed people who believe in a Flat Earth.)
“That’s disgusting” (said by the Destroyer, age 3, as I put his plate in front of him. No, son, that’s dinner.)
Me: clean up the toys before dinner. (Short lecture on taking care of our house.)
Engineer: “why? It’s your house, why can’t you do it?”
Me: you’re right! It’s my house. I’m going to get rid of all these toys because they’re such a mess and I never play with them.
Engineer: “No! You’re right, mommy, it’s our house.” (he did at least try.)
“I want boobies!” (the Destroyer couldn’t say the BL sound for blueberries.)
This morning the Destroyer was racing around the house with two small light saber flash lights. He came to me, looked at me to make sure I was paying attention, then put them in his ears and said “Light ear” (he’s currently in love with Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story.) He was serious – I was falling on the floor laughing!
Hope your day is brighter!